Mihai once told me that in high school after a break up, he rode his bike by his ex’s house every day until he felt nothing. Every day he faced all those emotions a breakup can create – anger, fear, resentment, regret, etc. Every day he felt them until they were done and gone.
Then I knew that’s what I had to do. With all my emotions. Not just the breakups, but the failures, the frustrations, the disappointments from the beginning of my life until now. Because how can I move forward when I haven’t dealt with the past?
How do you deal with the past? You let yourself feel it. You let yourself feel the emotions and then you say to yourself I am here for you.
From the words of Thich Nhat Hanh
“If something negative comes to the surface, such as your despair and anger, […] you need the energy of your mindfulness to embrace it.
Breathing in, I know that anger is there in me.
Breathing out I care for my anger.”
You may not be able to do anything about it anymore, but even just allowing yourself to feel it is the first step. And I have a lot of emotion to face.