Conversations on Marriage

This week I had jury duty. I got selected to be on this case and we’ve been at it for a few days so I took the time to get to know some of my fellow jurors. One is an older Philipino woman named Daisy May, who was recently widowed and would have been married for 45 years. She still spoke of her husband as he were still around and I could immediately tell they were best friends and more. They met in college and pretty soon after graduating got married and had two boys. She was a nurse and he was an accountant and they spent their whole lives in West LA. They both retired by age 55 and spent the last 15 years enjoying each others company. She told me that every afternoon they walked to Santa Monica Pier to watch the sunset.

She and her husband loved kids, in fact she was a neonatal nurse. Anyway she told us that babies love other babies and her husband told her, “you know, it’s probably because they already met each other in heaven, so that when they come down to earth and meet again they are really happy.”

OMG. Such and adorable thing to say!! I wish I had had the chance to meet him.

We had lunch with another woman who in 2012, married a man whom she had known for 15 years. They went to college together as well, but were always dating other people. They kept in touch sparsely throughout the years until around 2010 when they reconnected both as single people. Her name is Jennifer. She told me and Daisy May that their first conversation after all those years lasted 5 hours. Two weeks later they started a long distance relationship. 6 months later, they started shopping for an engagement ring. Now they have a 2 year old daughter.

Jennifer told us that for 10 years she dated someone whom she was madly in love with. But he was emotionally distant because of the way he was raised. She had no problem with it but she knew that if she were to have a family with him she could not have the loving household that she envisioned for her children. So she ended the relationship and purposely chooses not to talk with him because she knows she will fall back in love. And she has no regrets because now she has all that she wanted, a loving husband who is emotionally present and adores their daughter and shows it.

Life is never what you expect. I’m glad to know there is love and happiness in this world.

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