These days I have this memory that keeps surfacing.
“We had our first lab post presentation and when I saw your poster I was like, who is this overachieving little asian?” – Jim
hahahaha. I think it’s funny because I really didn’t know what I was doing so I put a ton of random stuff that might have been relevant on my poster. But he had a point. I always try to do too many things at once. I probably put more effort than necessary into that poster and I try to multitask in a way that stretches myself thin. Even at work today I had so many emails going on about 5 different topics. My mind is constantly thinking 3 steps ahead, jumping from thought to thought. It got worse when I moved to LA. There’s so much to do and so many people here that everyone is busy all the time. You have to make plans with people at least a week in advance. It never seems like anyone is free at the last minute or even the day before. Rush rush, go go, don’t stop. Maybe it’s that people want to maintain that image that being busy means they’re doing important things or that they are important or have a lot of friends. Probably all of the above. I guess I’m an overachiever in a city of overachievers. I told Leigh that because of this hustle bustle lifestyle I don’t think I could ever raise a family in LA. So one day I will leave this city behind. Or who knows, maybe I’ll decide that I don’t want a family and keep trying to overachieve.
Anyway that’s a tangent. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I’m starting to self sacrifice more and really prioritize wants and needs, which is hard after 4 years of indulging all my wants. So now I’m faced with this conundrum. I want to slow down…but will I be able to? And once I’ve slowed down…will I stay there?