Cycle Oregon was so many feelings: fear, excitement, calm, frustration, content, defensive, unsure, anxious, joyful, relaxing, sad and a little bit angry. Usually I blog about the physical challenges, times, conditions and compare myself to a previous me, but when I think of Cycle Oregon I don’t think of any of that.
I think of the memories. I recount on what I was thinking and who I was with. What we said to each other and how it made me feel because this whole year, maybe even longer, I’ve been so consumed with the negative in my life. Eventually I did what I always do and push it down away from my center, which also pushes down my sources of compassion, caring, kindness, openness, friendliness, etc. I became cold, unfriendly, and always thinking of myself. Getting away and seeing familiar (and new) faces was exactly what I needed to remind me of who I am.
On the first day I thought Ku was gonna be one of those guys who just mashes his gears and goes really fast leaving everyone behind. I’m glad I was wrong. I was sad that I couldn’t ride more with my friends so I promised myself that the next ride I would be just as strong as they are. I remember getting mad at KChang for not using his 28 gear on the first day. I remember laughing every night with Pattie in the tent about some funny story about Thi or Bosco. I remember every gasp and every breath I held at the sight of Oregon’s beauty. I remember John, the 78 year old friendly guy on the SAG from Portland. He told me to watch Giant, with James Dean and Liz Taylor because it was a wonderful movie. John said that if he could he would reset his life and live it all over again exactly the way it was. I hope when I’m his age I will have the same feelings.
There are too many memories to list, and I don’t think I laughed as hard or felt as warm as I did in a long time. Thanks for being a part of my life Kevin, Kevin, and Pattie.