As 2018 comes to a close I reflect on all that has happened and improved me. 2016 was probably one of the hardest years of my life as I redefined who I was. 2017 brought me hope and a refreshing start, but plenty of hard work and sacrifice. 2018 was the culmination of my massage studies, adapting a new skill of Life Coaching, and evolving as a soul. Here are the most prominent memories of 2018.
Discovering My Core Belief
In my journey for self improvement, I’d been working on giving myself more love and acceptance but I hit a plateau. There was still a nagging within me to do more and be more – something unsatisfied. In my Life Coaching training I was privy to an open session (a short session with our coach in front of the group as a demonstration) with Alan. Through this session he helped me to realize that I was holding onto the belief that I had to EARN love. As was my childhood where I had to get A’s, practice piano, do more, achieve more, etc in search of my father’s approval and praise. But love is free. So can I freely love myself?
After the training, I spent about a week processing the sobering experience. My whole live’s actions have been about earning love. Trying to achieve this or that, studying hard, working to climb the corporate ladder. My world was rocked. Needless to say Don was confused when I came back from beautiful Hawaii, distraught and vulnerable. But I accepted who I was and decided to move on from my past.
Grasping that underlying belief helped me to turn things around and let go of my debilitating belief. Today I am more compassionate and more self-assured because of that moment. Sometimes I think that even if I never really become a life coach, that training was worth it for the gift that Alan gave me – perspective.
Moving In with Don
When I told my friend Evan, that I was moving in with Don, he said, “You’ll know within 2 months whether or not you want to marry him.” And he hold me how his own experience went with his now wife. (Hint – it went really well). I’ve gotten to see Don in more and better ways and living together has given me confidence for a long future together. If you had asked me 3 years ago who was my ideal man, I couldn’t have predicted a better relationship.
Finishing My Training(s)
Craniosacral Therapy, Massage Therapy, Life Coaching – who would have guessed that I would find this path? Definitely not me. But I finally feel like a well rounded person, capable of a long and successful career. What’s even better is that there is no ladder to climb – but an empty canvas for my career. I can paint and create my life to be whatever I want.
For me 2018 was about growing into the new me, letting go of old beliefs and evolving into the person I was meant to be. Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.