Momentary Freak Out

Last week I realized that it has nearly been a year since I quit my job and immediately I started to compare myself to my expectations. I was hoping to have a new job and a meager but steady income, a new career and overall be happier. Well I have started a new career and am working hard every day, but I don’t make much money. My yoga teaching only makes enough to pay for my rock climbing membership and half my groceries. In short I did not meet my expectations and I had a minor freak out. If I wasn’t even close to supporting myself right now, then how will I be able to do so in the future? Realistically will I be making a stable income by the end of the year? By the end of next year? I felt like I was doing so much work and it wasn’t amounting to any money, so then what was I doing with my life?

Then I had to calm down and suck it up. I told myself to stop using money as a success gauge and to really see my life for what it was. I’m not making a lot of money but I am gaining experience, building my new career and enjoying my life. Every day is different and I can decide exactly what I’m doing. I am blessed with the savings to pay rent and buy food. I am blessed with the opportunities to work in a non-profit and treat people that need my help. As I was driving to Heal One World to do some work with the interns, I saw a familiar looking man begging for food. I offered him two of my tangerines and he was so grateful for them. Instantly my worries about money disappeared. I have so much, how can I be worried for myself when there are no real signs of struggle in my life. I am exactly where I need to be.

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