6 months later

It’s been about 6 months since I quit my job and put my faith in life. What have I done? A large mixture of changing the way I think and treat myself, while also figuring out what I want to do with my time.

Right after my solo road trip through the west coast, I came home and had to really face my reality. It was a roller coaster of emotion that included bouts of depression, self-doubt, and tons of fear. Until finally I realized that my reality is actually way better than the world I was creating in my head.

Goodbye $$$. What helped me profoundly was dealing with my fears on money. I was afraid that I wouldn’t have enough for me or my family. I worried that I would run out and have to go back to work. But my reality is that I have enough money to last me a few years of not working. Ideally I wouldn’t have to spend all my nest egg…which brings about the fear that I won’t ever make it back. But letting go of all those fears has really freed my mind. It wasn’t simple, but allowing myself to take on the attitude that I will make my money back and more has helped immensely. I am now able to focus on doing what I want and care about, and trusting that money will come later.

Identity crisis. When you leave your career behind, you make a huge shift. I went though many rounds of questioning my decisions and feeling horribly uncomfortable with where I was in life. I spent a lot of time distracting myself from my self-doubt and plenty of time unfocused on the future. It helped a lot to have yoga. To me yoga is something constant and firm in my life. It is always the same and it is always good for me. Being able to go to that and escape my own head helped immensely.

Once you get over the discomfort of being in new territory, then you have to work on redefining yourself. I read a lot of self help books. I knew I needed direction and I tried to look for the direction in myself. Meaning that I worked on hearing my intuition and taking action on things I might not fully understand. I believe that everyone is here for a purpose and you have to block out the judgement, ego, and opinions of others and yourself to hear what your soul knows you should be doing.

I started to let go of the fear that I was on the wrong path and embraced a path of uncertainty. I am still afraid of the unknown, but now I’m better at dealing with it.

Time. At first, I gave myself a deadline. If after 6 months I wasn’t working and making money I would just go back to what I was doing before. Then I realized that I hated this deadline. It constricted me and gave me no hope. I don’t want to go back to what I was doing before, and in reality it will probably take more than 6 months to start a new career. So I am giving myself an infinite amount of time to figure out my life, and I have faith that I’ll be able to make enough money to support myself before the nest egg runs out.

In my transition the life lessons I’ve learned can be summed up to these three:

  1. Learn to trust yourself and your intuition
  2. Give yourself plenty of time and space
  3. Free yourself from fear

It has been 6 months of struggle, work, and trust but I am in a better place than I’ve been in a long, long time.

Now. Right now I am not even looking for a job. I’m studying html, CSS and java script, a hobby I’ve always wanted to pursue but never had time. I’m studying the body/mind connection, learning cranio-sacral therapy, and massage, a new interest I’ve connected with in the past 3 months. And I’m teaching yoga, a love I’ve had for a long time.

I don’t know how all these pieces of my life will fit together, but maybe it won’t or doesn’t have to. All I know right now is that if I keep working on what interests me, then everything else will fall into place.

 

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