The Ebb and Flow

There are days where you question all the decision you made in  life. And there are days where you find pride in what you have accomplished.

Since quitting my job I have found a lot of fear and worry flow into my life. Is this really the right path for me? How will I support myself when the money runs out? Did I make a rash decision? Should I have thought this out more or gotten another job while I was working?

I go to my friends for support and they always tell me that I did nothing wrong. That my decision was sound and if they could do the same, then they would. So then at this point I remember that I am lucky to have my friends for support and to have prepared financially for this crazy journey.

In these low moments, I also reflect on how I made the decision to quit my career. Basically I trusted my intuition. I already knew that I was doing work I was not meant for and that I was hardly using the gifts that God gave me. I kept telling myself I would quit my job and every time nothing in me would quiver. My heart was steadfast in the idea, but my head was not. That’s how you know when you are judging with logic versus your intuition. If you believe that there are forces outside of yourself working to help you succeed then it’s only a matter of practice before you get good at trusting them. My year has been characterized by a lot of trust falling.

And it’s not over. It will probably never be over. It will always ebb and flow.

But I will always have my friends.


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