What is self love? It’s caring for yourself. Treating yourself kindly and with respect and letting yourself make mistakes. Choosing forgiveness over self criticism and thankfulness over self pity. It’s funny and sad that I never understood what this meant until now.
I thought that being selfless was good enough. In always helping others and putting them first I could cultivate love in my relationships and then they would return it. That way I could be loved. I was depending on others to give me the love I needed. But the world doesn’t work that way.
When I didn’t get love back, all I felt was drained and frustrated. Isn’t love reciprocal? Why would someone not return the feelings of affection or effort? The conclusion I’ve come to is that sometimes efforts aren’t understood and other times love just isn’t there. You can’t create love out of actions only. A foundation must be built where love can grow without judgement or boundaries.
The first part of your foundation needs to have self love. Because how can you expect someone to love you, if you don’t already love yourself? People can’t determine your worthiness for love. You set your own worthiness and others will follow and help you cultivate your own self love. If that’s not happening in a relationship then you need to get out and find a new relationship.
Self love has been a refreshing part of my life so far. It’s made me happier and more appreciative of the small moments.