To give or not to give?

Last week I passed on the key to Heal One World. I’ll no longer be teaching in the Thursday night slot. Who knows how much or how little I’ll be teaching from now on, but I knew that I needed a break.

It felt bitter sweet. I was happy to have my Thursday nights free, but sad to be leaving teaching. As long as I can remember I’ve been drawn to teaching. I got good at it. I TAed and mentored in college. I learned bike mechanics and taught people how to fix their bikes. Then I got the certification to teach yoga and taught that for 2 years and 9 months. I think I have burned out. Or maybe I just don’t feel challenged in my teaching. Or maybe I am not really focused as a teacher. It has  become too routine for me. Whatever it was that made me feel like leaving, I finally did. Of course the experience was good. I am comfortable with my words and found my own voice in teaching. The students are grateful and keep coming back to my class. But I guess I lost my spark…if I ever had it in the first place.

So what now? The main reason I give is because it makes me feel good to help another person. But if through teaching yoga, I couldn’t feel fulfilled, then how? Should I try another avenue of giving? Or maybe not give at all for a while.

Life is tough when you don’t know what you need.

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