I am a doer. I love to learn, self improve, create, build and experience. Typical aries with a restless soul. And so the problem with this is my focus. New sports, experiences and foods keep coming up, but there are still only 24 hours in a day. So I loose focus. That bike frame in my room has been gathering dust. My yoga mat is still dirty. The clothes I took to San Francisco are still unpacked.
This year started off with a bang. I was ready to meet new people and to travel for weddings, birthdays, and fun. Every other weekend was a different place. I took many leaps of faith. I bought EDC tickets without knowing who I was going with. I was dating again. I started to think about school again. I am getting new teeth. But now I’m tired. And my list of things to do just keeps getting longer and longer. Somehow I need to slow down and focus. But does that mean giving up some of the things I love? I don’t know. All I know is that if I don’t figure out how to focus then soon I my life will have passed me by.
At the top of my list is figuring out how to be happy. How to really truely feel happy right now in this moment and in all the moments when I shouldn’t be thinking of anything but now. So I think a pause would be good. I don’t have to go anywhere or get better or look for new things. I just have to be happy.
Funny how this being happy is so hard.