There seems to be a reoccuring thing going on in my life and that is sharing personal and intimate things openly with everyone.
I love it and fear it at the same time. I don’t remember when I felt like being open was better than being closed. But I used to be so closed. I used to like holding onto my fear and pain and I would stew in the feelings of regret and remorse. I used to want a knight in shining armor to come and save my from myself. How naive I was to think I could not save myself and how selfish I was to hold everything in.
Now I know everyone wants to help, you just have to give them a primer. Now I know I can take care of myself and love myself the way I am. I don’t need a knight. I just need to grow and keep being me.
I do remember when I decided to live fearlessly. I had just graduated from college and entered into this world where I had no expectations, no goals, and no one telling me what to do. I wanted to experience everything, to grow my social skills and to learn so I went for it. In everything. I had to network all the time and make new friends. I would go hang out with groups of people I hardly knew and do lots of things by myself. I did an MS150 and raised $4k for charity. Can you believe I used to be shy? Maybe I still am a little shy. But I would never have imagined that I could be who I am today and now I’ve realized that there’s still more growing to be done.