Awkward Yoga

After I recovered from my morning ride, I hopped on over to Bally for a newly established Yoga class.

Worst Yoga class I’ve ever been to. Worst.

Transitions from one pose to another were awkward and choppy. He wanted us to jump from pose to pose at one point. I was a rebel and just walked my feet around. RaWr. There was no flow from one muscle group to another. He would often add random things like…”oh right here loosen your hips by thrusting, and then circle” right in the middle of warrior pose. Are you for realz? Last I checked, hip thrusting is something Michael Jackson does. Not a yogi. He had us do that even though we spent the first 20 mins of class stretching the legs and hip flexors.

He didn’t know names of poses. “I think this is called cow pose”

I think he made up a pose that he called “Oriental Squat”. In which we were squatting they way the Chinese do it to avoid sitting on the ground or to go to the bathroom.

HAY. It looks weird and awkward, but it’s SANITARY. Anyway I didn’t know whether to be offended or honored that he made up this pose and named it after orientals. I think I’m more offended.

I was pretty annoyed by the end of it. My energy was not flowing anywhere but to my head, and he never gave us breathing instructions. Which is usually half the reason I like to go to Yoga. It helps me regain even breathing.

Grr. Oh well. Never going back.

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